End of the line? It’s all right going to the end of the line.

Well it’s all right, if you live the life you please.  It’s all right if you have someone to love, it’s all right going to the end of the line.  I’m just happy to be here and still be alive.  Remember to live and let live, best you can do is forgive.  TOM PETTY20638657_1876545285998667_5535337868005876711_n

Had a little shock today, after month after month of positive results the proverbial worm has turned.  Short story is today was not positive, in-fact I was told that I had new tumors in my lungs.  While the older tumors were not growing, the new growth was somewhat aggressive.

I asked if this was a major setback or what.  I was then told that I was being dropped from the program effective immediately.  I then turned in my remaining experimental drugs and they explained that this treatment was no longer working!

Funny thing happened at this point.  I realized that most people with aggressive bladder cancer have a life expectancy of 4 to 6 months.  As I sat there and let this news soak in I simply thanked my doctor for the six month extension of my life.  The fact is that I’ve had a great life and really enjoyed the last six months life extension.  No anger and instead of fear I realized the only thing I had left was faith.  The thing about  fear, according to Winston Churchill, the only thing to fear is fear itself.

Not being sure of how long I have with no treatment, I sure don’t want to waste it being afraid of what is the inevitable part of the cycle of life.  I have appreciated everyday I wake up as a gift anyway.

With no treatment likely end game happens in a couple of months, 2-4 months to be exact with an educated guess.  Herein lies the, hopefully, silver lining.

The same drug company,  and the same research team,  have an alternative treatment that may be available to me.  This is also a phase 2 drug trial invented by the same doctor.  I fly back to Houston next Wednesday to determine if I am qualified to participate, if I am eligible I start the new experiment the next day Thursday.

Lot of mixed emotions right now, but I have one thing now I never knew I had before faith.  Living in Las Vegas has taught me a little about odds.  The last trial I participated in was almost impossible to get into, but I did get into it.  And the treatment worked pretty well, unti it didn’t.

As Tom Petty sang, I might go down, but I’ll go down swinging.  It’s not over until it’s over, period.

I also never realized how many of you people also have faith in prayer and our lord.  That said I’ve appreciated everyone’s prayers and do realize I plan on hanging on as long as it’s feasible.  Keep your faith and thanks again.

Another bit of good news is that my 1951 Chevy is just about completely rebuilt and I hear it calling me to drive it from Illinois to Las Vegas.  I do wish I was in as good of shape as this old chevy truck.  Anyway happy trails, until we meet again.  Not saying goodbye just yet, see you later alligators.

P1000526Just about ready to roll, at least one of two more times……Don’t have to be ashamed of the car I drive.  It’s alright, going to the end of the line.

Latest Comments

  1. Ken Chiu says:

    You are in my thought often my friend!! Ken Chiu ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. J Balmer says:

    Regardless of what happens next, I’m w/ you Harry. You helped change my life for the better & I’m honored to walk beside you wherever that may be.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Gayla Patrick says:

    Thank you for sharing, Harry. I, too, have stepped in the corridor and glimpsed at the end of the line. Thankfully, more than a few times I’ve been able to turn around and save that door for another day. After some extensive research, I’ve come to believe much like John Lennon, “I’m not afraid of death because I don’t believe in it. It’s just getting out of one car into another.” For the moment, let’s just “enjoy every sandwich.” ~Warren Zevon I wish you the very best, Harry Fuller.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Barb Guckenberger says:

    Harry, all of our days are but a few simple lessons built upon one single foundation, our love an endless journey, but our faith is what will set us free. My prayer for you is this…that your days may be plentiful so that your lessons may be learned by many more, your love may provide strength and courage to all those who walk with you on your endless journey and that Gods Will for you is more time, allowing you to build upon your foundation of faith, to continue helping others in need and to empower so many of us who love you.

    God Bless,

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ken Natzke says:

    Well, Harry, we are certainly disappointed in hearing your news. But know, if there is another road to turn down while on this earth, you will certainly do so. I will join you in faith and hope that another option becomes available. Prayerfully, your friend.

    Liked by 1 person

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