Well it’s all right, if you live the life you please. It’s all right if you have someone to love, it’s all right going to the end of the line. I’m just happy to be here and still be alive. Remember to live and let live, best you can do is forgive. TOM PETTY
Had a little shock today, after month after month of positive results the proverbial worm has turned. Short story is today was not positive, in-fact I was told that I had new tumors in my lungs. While the older tumors were not growing, the new growth was somewhat aggressive.
I asked if this was a major setback or what. I was then told that I was being dropped from the program effective immediately. I then turned in my remaining experimental drugs and they explained that this treatment was no longer working!
Funny thing happened at this point. I realized that most people with aggressive bladder cancer have a life expectancy of 4 to 6 months. As I sat there and let this news soak in I simply thanked my doctor for the six month extension of my life. The fact is that I’ve had a great life and really enjoyed the last six months life extension. No anger and instead of fear I realized the only thing I had left was faith. The thing about fear, according to Winston Churchill, the only thing to fear is fear itself.
Not being sure of how long I have with no treatment, I sure don’t want to waste it being afraid of what is the inevitable part of the cycle of life. I have appreciated everyday I wake up as a gift anyway.
With no treatment likely end game happens in a couple of months, 2-4 months to be exact with an educated guess. Herein lies the, hopefully, silver lining.
The same drug company, and the same research team, have an alternative treatment that may be available to me. This is also a phase 2 drug trial invented by the same doctor. I fly back to Houston next Wednesday to determine if I am qualified to participate, if I am eligible I start the new experiment the next day Thursday.
Lot of mixed emotions right now, but I have one thing now I never knew I had before faith. Living in Las Vegas has taught me a little about odds. The last trial I participated in was almost impossible to get into, but I did get into it. And the treatment worked pretty well, unti it didn’t.
As Tom Petty sang, I might go down, but I’ll go down swinging. It’s not over until it’s over, period.
I also never realized how many of you people also have faith in prayer and our lord. That said I’ve appreciated everyone’s prayers and do realize I plan on hanging on as long as it’s feasible. Keep your faith and thanks again.
Another bit of good news is that my 1951 Chevy is just about completely rebuilt and I hear it calling me to drive it from Illinois to Las Vegas. I do wish I was in as good of shape as this old chevy truck. Anyway happy trails, until we meet again. Not saying goodbye just yet, see you later alligators.
Just about ready to roll, at least one of two more times……Don’t have to be ashamed of the car I drive. It’s alright, going to the end of the line.