At some times it is easier to give up than not too. When I got what I considered the worst news possible I nearly gave up. Your worst news can be anything a partner relationship, a business failure or, in my case terminal cancer.
This week I had my worst news turn into my best news. From news of my imminent demise, 6 months to live to your cancerous tumors have shrunk by over 50% in just six weeks. From acceptance of your fate to a positive projection of your destiny and personal expectations, a hope and a prayer does make a difference.
Never give up. Never lose your faith. Never lose your religion. It is easy to think it’s time for a cocktail, or ten, or to lose yourself in pity or whatever self-created purgatory you might create to mourn your impending doom.
More than a few people have written me and expressed how courageous I was in the face of imminent death. Here is the truth, I experienced every one of the aforementioned feelings. My primary issues was fear of the unknown and my personal religious faith. These dark holes are difficult hurdles to overcome.
The real bottom line is that this “giving up” applies to not only our health, but also to our family relationships and sometimes our work or business lives. I have weathered business and marriage failures as well as miscalculations of life paths. From my darkest hours I have risen above the failure in which I self-fulfilled my own prophesies.
It was sometimes easier to accept my situation with a little mind-numbing activity; however, in the end I have found fear was my strongest motivation.
Bankruptcy, divorce, losing a job, “over doing the party” all led me to the final conclusion that only I could overcome the situation I was in. Always been quite proud of overcoming bankruptcy, business failures and even a failed marriage. While I was all about my personal achievements believe me here. This attitude worked on the “small stuff” acting kind of like mental masturbation. That act is for ourselves. Try to forget your pride and create your own ending to every story life throws at you.
Part of the real solution is always actual acceptance of the situation you find yourself in, whether you made the situation or just wound up in there.
It doesn’t make any difference whose fault it is; however, imminent death via medical prognosis was my biggest hurdle. I was not able to think my way out of, “you have six months to live…”
Big admit, after the shock I all but gave up on life and simply worked on accepting this bleak prognosis. I was dreading death, angry that I had accumulated all of my “bullshit possessions” and that none of that actually made any difference. It really did not make any difference to me hearing people talk about faith. I felt faith had let me down, not realizing I really didn’t have any real faith to lean on.
While my battle is far from over, the pain and fear are no longer a part of the equation.
Here is what I found. Only I can control my attitude concerning fear and anger. Positive attitudes, and acceptance of my own destiny concerning death, along with a real leap of faith has allowed my sun to shine again.
That faith is partly be appreciative of what you have, considering that no matter how bad our situation seems to be others have worse things to deal with.
That faith is also finally thinking about what your life legacy will really be.
Accepting your plight, dealing with the fear and then realizing that your only alternative is faith and a positive attitude.
Friends, and people who didn’t even know me, have extended something that I feel is most critical, prayer. Widespread prayer from those who have already realized one thing I hadn’t, faith is the answer. Win or lose,often our fear dictates the future.
Also realizing that I had a lot to be greatful for allowed me to release my anger and accept faith. I appreciate all of the prayer and pledge to spend the balance of my life trying to help those less fortunate than myself. Payback does not have to be a bitch.
Try to accept this, death is a part of life. Getting ready for death is an ongoing process that can make or break your own attitude, or as Art Costello says, “fullfilling your own destiny thru positive expectations.” You are what you expect you are.
According to the expert doctor at The Keck Cancer Center at USC in Los Angeles, I’m a dead man. He gave me 6-months with an end that was far from positive. Hospice care was just one suggestion. “You are surgically finished here, I would like you to speak with our expert on Chemotherapy…”
I now realize that my true friends have faith in not only themselves, but in our maker.
Also, since I’m not a preacher I think it’s time for a little trip to Cabo, completion of my trial therapy and enjoying every day as if it were my last one on this earth.
Next blog needs to be somewhat lighter and possibly Wabo Cabo induced for just a minute.