My brother and sister-in-law recently experienced this gastromonical experience in Springfield, Illinois. Besides Abraham Lincoln and the beginning journey down Route 66, our state capital has three somewhat iconic dining experiences which are somewhat unique to central Illinois. Springfield is a short one hour drive down Route 66 (aka I-55).
Our first stop, as always was a stop at The Chili Parlour (formerly The Den), then followed with another stop at Darcy’s Irish Pub, for a local favorite food invention the horseshoe sandwich (you choose the meat, then the sandwich is placed on a pile of french fries and finally smothered in a liquid form of cheese and then stop number three, The Cozy Dog topped off with a Cozy Dog (aka Corn Dog, but please don’t refer to the corn dog while at the Cozy. Greasy chili, sandwich smothered in cheese on top of fries and then a corn dog. This might also work prior to a colon check, just saying. Also another reason for heart surgery at a certain point in your life.
As we drove back home our conversation soon included multiple requests to roll down the windows for a fresher breath of air. Of course my wife once again informed us that she is not a farter, that description was more suitable for everyone else in the car. This age old argument, concerning non-farting, normally ends up with someone changing the subject; however, this day was different as my sister-in-law provided us with a more technical explanation of someone who claims to be a non-farter. I have always felt that farts relieved pressure, could act as an end to a good story or a way to get windowns rolled down.
The technical term, per my sister-in-law, is a leaker with a relaxed sphincter. While this is a medical term she discovered the phenomena at a chili cookoff at the Locust Point Tap a few years back. Seven to ten different chili samples will generally provide one with lots of “ammo” unless you have the leaker with a relaxed sphincter. Essentially she felt the “non-farter” really was just a slow leaker with a relaxed sphincter.
Don’t really want to argue about this much, but this is the explanation I am going with should there be a silent but deadly attack within a confined space, such as a car or auditorium.
Also of interesting note, Springfield, Illinois is also home to a very impressive selection of german automobiles such as Porsche, Mercedes and Audi. Each one of these cars normally includes a very powerful interior air filter which almost eliminates most noxious odors. This is not true when you mix four people with the three aformentioned foods.
Probably enough food talk, trying to balance this concoction with creamed asparagus? I’ll let you know how that worked out another time.
Time for an Easter full of family, attending my son-in-law, Josh Anderson’s new church assignment in Pontiac, Illinois tommorow morning and then a nice Easter Brunch. Enjoy your family and friends today while you still can. Enjoying grandchildren perfection.
One thought on “A relaxed sphincter, really a slow leaker?”
I am glad we have finally come up with a diagnosis for her. This seems legit.
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