Amsterdam, funny sh*t

This particular trip included a first stop in Munich to pick up a BMW with my wife Barbie and my  sister in law Joanie Gabrielli.  Our journey included numerous small villages in Germany, Austria,  with a final destination of Amsterdam to get the vehicle loaded on a ship headed home.

After we dropped off the vehicle our happy trip headed to the epicenter of the sins of Amsterdam and also of arts, architecture, hookers,  dutch apple pancakes, cheese and incidentally Heineken and weed.  (My wife and her sister are avowed beer drinkers.  I myself lean towards the weed.)

Ater a quick check in at The Golden Tulip Babizon Palace, we began a day/evening walking tour thru central Amsterdam, the red light district and more than a few local pubs/ coffeehouses.  After hiking and  walking around central Amsterdam we stopped at a quaint coffee shop Stones Cafe, a very small friendly kind of place for a coffee, latte and some marijuana.

During the recap of our days travels the front door swung open and a very handsome, well built Slavic man walked up to the bar and stood next to Joanie.  Barbie and I made a comment to each other as watched to see Joanie up close in action.  Again this guy visually way at least a 9.5 on a scale to ten.  Thought maybe the hookup was on, but it was not to be.

As their conversation got started  Joanie proceeded to explain that she was missing her daughter Laura’s homecoming or prom experience and she wouldn’t even see her date to the affair.  After just a few sentences the guy abruptly interrupted Joanie and, The handsome man asked, ” with your daughters date, did you f*ck him?”  Joanie shot back, “excuse me I’m talking about my daughters date!”  She again proceeded to explain herself when the guy stopped her again ask her, “Did you bl*w him?”  Joanie said, emphatically, sir I’m talking about my daughters date!”

His answer was epic.  The handsome model-like man said, “Lady, if you didn’t f*ck him and you did not bl*w him, your story is just not interesting.”  He then spun on his heel and walked to a table on the other side of the very small coffeehouse.

Barbie, Joanie and I stood in silence for a minute and then I told Joanie, “he was right you know we are in Amsterdam and your story really wasn’t that interesting.”

To this date, in appropriate company and always with Joanie  I have often stopped boringly uninteresting stories with, “Did you f*ck him?  Did you bl*w him?”  Your story is not that interesting.  It has been used repeatedly around this small planet and then repeated by many who have heard it.  #Believe it!  Barbie also utilizes this little quip when  my story’ssdll

We all sat there and didn’t say a word, until my comment.  Joanie, your story wasn’t really that interesting!  I recall we all agreed and told to sharpen up her tavern talk.

The first time I visited Holland was with my oldest daughter April Rain (Fuller, Adams, LeFever) during  her ISU foreign exchange student experience  in Canterbury, England.

That first trip  turned into numerous journeys to Amsterdam over  nearly 20 years!  I’ve traveled alone, with friends and now with my wife and several different adult children.

I say go to Holland for the paintings/art, history, canal boats, Heineken, flower market, cheese and a few coffee houses along the way.  They are kinda like a Starbucks, only they have better coffee and weed.  More than a few more stories from Amsterdam, trying to figure out a way to share in a way appropriate for younger readers, aka my grandchildren.   

3 thoughts on “Amsterdam, funny sh*t

  1. Hey Harry I think that was when Barbie and I started singing “were not drunk we’re just drinking”. I also remember when we went to Holland and we went into the dark streets and a guy on a bicycle came up to the car. Barbie and I thought oh no we are going to die. Of course when we got to the hotel I stayed with you two I remember rolling over in my bed facing you two and you said “don’t look at us” and we were laughing hysterically. You also had consumed some “plant” and you kept saying open the window I can’t breathe.
    So many funny stories from that trip but best one was the story you told. It was a great time!

    Liked by 1 person

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